Callumisms of last weekend

Forgot to post these two from last weekend, but thought they were pretty funny.

Saturday morning, Jon was out with the dogs and I was lounging in bed
like I always do, until the boys wake up.

Callum woke up first and instead of coming to our room (which is what
he usually does), he went straight to the bathroom and hopped onto the
potty.

From my room I could hear him talking to himself while sitting on the
potty. It was a very elaborate and imaginative story, which made me
half wonder if he was still asleep. ;-)

It dawned on me I should try to record it, but I didn't act fast
enough. So, I wrote down part of the end. Here it goes...

....
And if they (kids at school) laugh at me, my Mommy and Daddy will
stomp on them.

Then they'll turn into sloppy monsters.

I don't want any monsters to touch me.

Or my pajamas.

Because my name is Callum.

....

Then he finished up his business and climbed into bed with me, as he
usually does. I asked him if there were monsters in his room or
something, that he was talking about?

He very matter-of-factly informed me:

Oh, there's no monsters in our house Mommy. I'm just pretending.

-------

The second Callumism of last weekend was another conversation we had,
when he noticed my "softer" belly. ;-)

C: My tummy is different (from yours).

Me: Yes, that's because you're in shape.

C: Well, I am a different shape.